Isolation Is Not Good For Me

I have been very depressed here in Arau.

The fact that I'm alone scare the hell out of me.

I'm not a social butterfly.

It is hard for me.

I live in a housing area where no classmate even know where it is.

I felt very isolated.

*Maybe just because I'm going to have my period? This is PMS. I hate it!

I missed my girls too very much I cried when I think of our memories.

The class, the mushroom, the assignments, the isolation (Oh! That's just me) - you name it.

I also hate the meeting other ex-classmate and they'll go like.

'Eh Ainaa. Kau dapat sini ya? Kau dengan siapa eh? Kau seorang ye?'

Isn't it so very clear, I'm not alone. I'm with you (the one asking question).

Seeing this, made me re-realize. I was never part of them. And maybe never will be?

It is pathetic.

You know what follows those questions?

'Jue mana? Jem? Chah? Shifaa? Nebby? Kesian Ainaa.'

They don't even comfort me that they'll here to accompany.

Like I care?

I've always an outcast.

This is an angry post. But I do find a spot of happiness.

I've got assignments to do. To distract me off these situations.

I do have friends who had finished his exams and who haven't start his class.

And one of my girls came to Arau! She misses Arau so much! Do you miss me dear?

Thank you a zillion million to Shazatul Shifaa Zulaikha Zulkifli for visiting!

Last but not least,

I only pray you'll never leave me behind.

Because good music can be so hard to find.

Kesayangans, You are my music of life.